


Phantom Hands

by LectorDominion



Category: Hikaru no Go
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Gen, Moving-on, character-death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-04-26 12:51:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5005474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LectorDominion/pseuds/LectorDominion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You didn't need to play in person for you to be recognized. </p><p>Shindou Hikaru may not have played anyone personally, but he still left his own mark in the Go community, and possibly even the whole world. And as usual, with Sai's phantom hands guiding him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Inspired by Amaranthais fic titled 'Lively Shadows'. May sound like hers. I asked permission though. Unedited. No Beta. Slow update.

**Phantom Hands**

**01:**

Shindou Hikaru had been depressed for some time now.

Sai is gone. He just disappeared as suddenly as he appeared in his life.

They promised each other. No leaving. They would always be together until the end. They had probably even thrown the word forever then, believing that what they had promised would be the truth. That it would happen.

After all, Sai was a ghost. He stayed for a thousand years. Surely, surely he'd wait for him until he got old and wrinkly and then they would both go to wherever it is dead people go. It would only take a few short years than his thousands did.

Or they could haunt the Goban together. But that idea was not feasible in his eyes. He often wondered how Sai retained even just a little bit of sanity without anyone talking to him after Torajirou died.

But then he disappeared just like that. He didn't even say a proper goodbye. He only said words too confusing for him to understand at that time since he still believed that they'd be together.

They promised.

And then the promise was broke. And it was so easy too.

Remembering it only made him feel depression again.

He ignored everything around him, mourning for weeks on end as he just stared morosely at the previously haunted Goban board.

The board that brought Sai to him, to his life.

And also the one who had blatant evidence that Sai really is gone since the blood stain on it was now no more. The board now clean.

Ancient.

Valuable.

But still undoubtedly clean.

**. . . . .**

"Hikaru!" his mother had been hovering over him in worry as he isolated himself from everyone. He didn't know what happened to his studies. He didn't know if he was finally expelled for being absent for so long or if his mom called the school to excuse him. He didn't even know if he still had his captaincy in soccer.

He neglected everything in his grief.

But Sai was like the fixture of his life. He was already used to him by his side. Always the calm one holding and balancing his own hyperactive attitude just as he balanced Sai's childish ones.

They actually fit together. A human child and a ghost.

He always thought that if it weren't for Sai, he probably wouldn't have grown from his immature, careless, callous and selfish self before.

He was thankful for Sai's appearance in his life since he taught him, a lot. He appreciated everything around him more than before and it was because of the Heian, Go-obsessed noble.

But he also despised it. Not Sai, never Sai. He was actually the best thing that could have happened to him despite their initial bad start. But he despise the situation he was now in. The one they both were in.

If Kami-sama were to take him away anyway when they already had an understanding, when they already have such a deep, personal bond, when they both already promised to be with each other until the end, why did he allow him to even see the ghost?

"Hikaru," his mom said from the door of his bedroom softly seeing him sitting in seiza looking at the Goban once again, different from the tone she used before when she first came onto his room.

"Mom," he acknowledged her presence. It was probably an improvement than before when he didn't even pay attention to his mother. His father was in abroad finishing his work contract of two years there before he could even return to them.

His mother came and sat on the opposite of the Goban, right in front of him in proper seiza form. It startled him into looking up to her warm, concerned eyes.

Because the place she was sitting in was usually occupied by Sai. Or empty, as he had come to be familiar with when Sai just… faded away from his life.

"You can't stay like this Hikaru," mom said. He didn't speak. He didn't want to. He just stared right into her eyes. "You're mourning," still, he didn't say anything. Mom sighed again but continued, her eyes looking directly in his eyes, portraying that what she would say next should be listened to.

"You're mourning. I don't know who, or why I haven't known about the person you're mourning. But Hikaru… you can't just waste away. Think about what the person you are mourning would think seeing you like this," he was suddenly struck with a mournful after-image of Sai looking at him with his sad, violet eyes as his mom said it.

He blinked rapidly at the image.

And it was gone.

There was silence in the room for a few short minutes before his mother started again.

"When you're grandma died," she said in a soft voice. Startled, he listened intently at what his mother was going to say. After all, she's telling about her experience with people she lost.

His grandma died even before he was born so he was also curious about what his mom was going to say about her. After all, very rarely does his mom speak about grandma.

"I was really sad. I think I went through with depression, just like what you are doing now," she gave him a wry smile. "You really are my son Hikaru, prone to dramatics," she teased. He couldn't help but give his mother a mulish pout despite it still tinged with distress. He wasn't dramatic.

Not really.

"I didn't eat and sleep properly. I didn't go to school. I just stayed in my room like what you are doing right now. I couldn't just return to my previous routine. Because your grandma was gone. Mama was gone and I wouldn't be able to hear her laugh anymore, I wouldn't be able to sing to her anymore. She wouldn't be braiding my long hair anymore," his mother stopped suddenly and looked outside his window.

She had tears running down her cheeks silently and he couldn't help but feel guilty.

Because he was the reason why his mother felt it necessary to speak about her experience when grandma died before just so he would know she could sympathize even though she didn't know who he had been mourning. Just so he won't mope around and waste.

He felt warm inside knowing his mom loved him this much.

 _You're right Sai. I really am lucky to have my mom as my mother,_ he thought to himself.

He stood up slowly and sat right beside her. He held her trembling hands tightly on his own, comforting her from the grief she was in. She turned to look at him and smiled.

It was a sad but accepting smile. And he couldn't help but think how oddly beautiful his mom was at that moment.

"But your grandpa, papa… he tried to move on. He continued his life. It wasn't good at the start but he tried and he moved on. And he took me along with that," she said. "I hated him at first, because how could he move on, looking like he did it so easily when mom died?"

He could sort of understand what his mom was saying. He even sometimes asked the question to himself multiple times. How could he move on when Sai left him? When he wouldn't be coming back, ever?

"Papa just gave me a brittle, understanding smile. Like he could understand my point and wasn't angry with me even though I was so disrespectful that time. It was painful to see Hikaru," she faced him and cupped his face on her soft, warm hands. "You had the same smile. And it hurts me more than before, because I don't know why you had it. You never told me,"

It struck him right there, seeing his mother's concerned eyes, that he was only selfishly thinking about himself.

Again.

First with his grandpa and how much of a conceited brat he was stealing his things to sell just for a few money to play arcade with his friends.

Second, with Sai and how he was such a selfish kid whining all the time when all the Heian noble had wanted was to play Go.

And then now, with his mother. Worrying her about him as he just selfishly, seemingly shut everyone out.

Maybe this was the reason Kami-sama took Sai away from him?

"There was something that burned into my mind that snapped me out of my grief, something that your grandpa said," she continued looking at him with intense eyes that he had only ever seen today. "Mitsuko, mama may have been already been dead, but it's up to us, the living to remember the past, the memories they were able to share to us and honour it,"

He was again struck by the wisdom and knowledge on his mother's eyes.

And what she had said penetrated into the seemingly impenetrable wall of distress he had unconsciously surrounded himself since Sai's death.

"I understand mom,"

She graced him with a beautiful smile.

**. . . . .**

Slowly but surely, he forced himself to get back to his previous routine before Sai left.

Only, it was bereft with his enthusiastic, childish and naïve view of the modern world. It just made him regret how much he took for granted everything Sai's presence had given him.

He returned back to his school. He was accepted back again despite his two weeks stint of disappearance, but not without any trouble. He had to finish a number of assignments and quizzes he missed in those absent days. It was frankly horrifying.

But he persevered and finished them, studying almost in a frenzy to be able to pass his year.

His position in the soccer club was also threatened since the coach couldn't give him back his captaincy if he wasn't in the proper condition. He may have been the best player in their school, but that was before his absences. He had to get his body back in shape since he had never practiced in those days.

Thank goodness his mother really did called the school and told them that he was sick or he would really be expelled.

There was no time contemplating anything other than those things, no time for his depression to come back with a vengeance. He threw himself on the things he needed to do and didn't think of anything else.

He got to the normal schedule of his studies in no time. With his almost manic way of studying, it wasn't really a surprise. He also got his captaincy back and he was thankful that his hectic days were now over and he was able to return to normal pace of his life.

Of course, without Sai in sight.

And as much as he could still feel pain and grief with his disappearance, he was able to at least move on.

Slowly. Little by little. But it was getting there.

To the point that he was able to log in to NetGo again under Sai's account.

**. . . . .**

And what a pain that was.

There was actually a hundred and more people visiting his account, leaving in private messages of where he was and why he hadn't been logging in and playing anymore.

He was just so thankful that there was an 'invisible to everyone' option in the log in section and that he did clicked it. That meant no one would notice he was logged in. Though he had done it so that no one would challenge him into a game since before, when Sai was still around, many would challenge them to play. Though they didn't know why.

He was actually dumbfounded with the visitors the account had. He couldn't comprehend why.

So he had done his research. He went to the forums and there he saw a forum dedicated only to Sai!

"What the-?!" he murmured incredulously to himself when he looked through it while still logged in onto Sai's account in one of the internet café's close to his school.

He clicked it and was able to read on the posts that was there.

The Saint of NetGo. That was Sai's moniker.

And he didn't even know. He had no idea about that.

When he let Sai play using NetGo, they never engaged other people in talking. What's the point when the account was purely Sai's and he didn't want anyone even knowing about Sai's existence at those times.

Because then, he would be discovered.

And he really didn't want the Go community to find out about him since he had already set his life even before Sai came.

Get good grades, grab some scholarships in soccer, and play it professionally. He may have been derailed when Sai suddenly appeared and always whined to him to let him play. He may have become hooked with it because of Sai's absolute love for the game. He may have even become obsessed with it since it clearly improved his already strategic and analytical mind, along with how good he felt when playing it even when he always lost to Sai.

But his goals hadn't disappeared. It just… got hold back.

They just returned back with a vengeance when he became a high school student. And he became absentminded with it though he still let Sai play games in NetGo.

So he really didn't know that there was any hype with Sai playing.

He immediately logged out the account, wiped the history of the computer and the beat a hasty retreat back to his home.

Even when Sai was a ghost, he still left impact in the Go community. Though he was obviously only known to play in NetGo.

He felt that he had to let others know Sai on a personal level.

He mulled that thought over until he went to sleep.

**TBC.**

* * *

**A/N:**

Alright pips! See this? I know I have numerous on-going fics still but I couldn't help it. This tickled me to no end. I asked  **Amaranthais** if I could play with her idea (Read the Note above). She graciously allowed me and I'm so happy she did.

How is this?

**Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An idea started forming in Hikaru's mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Unedited. No Beta. Inspired from Amaranthais fic's 'Lively Shadows'. AU. Mentions (implied or direct) of Slash. Slow update.

 

**Phantom Hands**

**02:**

An idea started to form inside Hikaru's mind after that night.

He let it run at the back of his mind even as he continued his studies and his soccer career in fervor. He tackled them with the same intensity as he did whenever he played Sai in Go.

And of course, his performance both in academics as well as in the sports he had wanted to pursue grew leaps and bounds.

Just like his performance in Go. At least that's what Sai had said.

Thinking about Sai still of course brought him pain. But it wasn't as encompassing as it was before. It wasn't all consuming. And most importantly, it didn't just brought sadness in him, it also brought melancholy and fondness.

Sai's amazement in TV or what he had called 'magic box'. How he had been thrilled with the vending machine at work. The advanced lighting system that he didn't have back in his time.

His smiles when he learned he could play Go in another type of 'magic box'. How he was pretty amazed that the Go was still evolving as time passed. How he had adored seeing so many kids so dedicated in playing the game he had loved to death and beyond.

And then suddenly, he didn't feel the mind-numbing grief anymore.

And his conscious actions to move on became even more possible.

**. . . . .**

He was reviewing for his final examination in first year high school – and he still marveled how quickly time passed. When he was in his stage of grief, he noted how time passed by too slow for his comfort, making him feel Sai's disappearance more keenly, thus making him worse – when a ripped piece of paper fell from his notebook.

He blinked at it but shrugged and returned back to what he had been doing.

But curiosity had always been his fault, and despite how his mom and grandpa remarked in how mature he seemed to be this days, that little bit of childish reactions he had before was still there with him.

And so he picked the piece of paper, looked at it, and sucked a huge, deep breath.

There, he saw a crude drawing of what he though was a television with many wires attached to it. Along with a, what looked like an antennae and stick figures inside the TV. Then there was also a crude drawing of laptop with the words NETGO written in bold letters inside.

And he promptly remembered when he had made the drawing as well as what had taken place at that time.

He was explaining and at the same answering his numerous enthusiastic questions about the 'magic box', how he could play Go inside another type of 'magic box' and how he was being pestered countless of times to let him play when said 'magic box' was given to him by his mom.

Those were the days he could remember how fiercely he felt his fondness, exasperation and at times, irritation at the childish Heian ghost.

And also the times where he could frequently see how much Sai loved the game since they never really faced anyone personally.

He had never wanted to, in fear of being discovered.

" _It's up to us, the living to remember the past, the memories they were able to share to us and honour it,"_

He blinked rapidly, the paper crinkling as he clutched it in his hand tightly, when he remembered what his mom had said before.

The idea that had been festering inside his mind came onto the forefront of his mind.

And he gave a feral grin.

**. . . . .**

Writing a book wasn't as easy as he had thought. He wasn't an author, nor had he ever written about any stories before. And with how serious he was with his soccer and studies, his writing had to be postponed numerous times.

Months came and went rather rapidly in Hikaru's opinion. But he was okay with it. After all, he had to at least give some time for the book he was writing.

And summer was the perfect time for that.

Normally, he would have played soccer some more. He liked the sport, the addicting adrenaline rush, especially how he could outmaneuver his opponents, make brilliant plays as a striker and lead his team to win.

Or, he would let Sai play Go and also teach him the board game.

But at that moment, he did neither. He only sat in front of his desk where he had put his laptop and started typing once again.

Every day he did this. He would wake up, do his morning rituals, eat, type, and then eat for lunch again. He would help with the household chores, type again, and then eat his dinner. He hadn't left the house in the entire summer.

He just didn't want to.

At one point, during dinner, his mom had asked worriedly why he never went out of the house. He realized at that moment that it was quite unusual for him to stay willingly inside their house. The only time he stayed that long without making any ruckus was when he was depressed and deep in grief for Sai's disappearance.

He gave his mom a happy grin. "I'm writing a book mom," he said. He saw his mother looked at him in stunned disbelief. He understood why though. He never had that interest before. He didn't even want to write his essay assignments and had to be watched by his mom so he would.

And when Sai came, he had helped him. But not in the house. They always write essays on some pleasant park so he wouldn't get bored.

"A book?" he gave an enthusiastic nod even as he finished eating his food.

"Yup. It's my current project," he informed her after he swallowed his food. His mom looked at him and gave him a small, happy smile.

"Good luck honey,"

He gave her a thumbs up.

**. . . . .**

He was now a Second year high school students and his academic life had become hectic. Even his coach became stricter than last year. He was pushing them in their training that whenever he return home, he always felt tired that he just flopped to his bed and sleep with his clothes still on.

His book wasn't progressing as fast as he wanted but at least he knew he would be able to finish it before his second year finishes.

If only his schedule would clear up a little more like before, he'd be finished even sooner.

**. . . . .**

It was after their semi-finals that he managed to finally end the book he had been writing. It wasn't easy and he was hundred percent sure the editors who would work on his book would have their hands full correcting his mistakes.

It wasn't that thick and it wasn't that thin. It was just enough that those who didn't like reading large books would not feel like they were looking at an encyclopedia while reading. He also made it as fun and relatable so everyone who would buy the book would read it from page to page instead of just scanning it for good 'action' scenes.

And most importantly, he made it in Sai's point of view. He remembered everything, almost in crystal clear details, about Sai's reaction back when he had been trailing after him with his inquisitive and curious eyes and how childlike he had reacted to everything new around him.

His enthusiasm and obsession with Go, his passion, his absolute want in having the Hand of God.

His refreshing personality, his seriousness, everything. He put all of it in the book and made it work. Made it so that every aspect of Sai's personality would be present.

He wasn't sure if it would be accepted.

But he would make sure it would.

**. . . . .**

He passed the first five chapters of his manuscript in one of the leading novel publishing companies in their country using the name Yamato Kei and his newly acquired contact number.

It was the summer after his second year that the company finally contacted him saying if he could pass some more of his manuscript. Of course, with the possibility of being accepted, he passed another five chapters.

A week later, he was told that his manuscript was approved by the head editor and was personally accepted by the owner.

The following negotiations were hectic with him making sure that his real identity wouldn't be revealed. The reaction of those in the know were bad enough, imagine what those people back in the Go community would do if they got a hold of him just because his main character was named Sai and his book has some Go kifu's.

That would be disastrous.

When all was said and done, and the release of his book titled as  **Reincarnation**  was already set, he finally calmed down and waited impatiently on how it would be accepted.

"This is all for you Sai," he whispered while looking at the calendar where he circled the date of his book's release with red.

**TBC.**

* * *

**A/N:**

Alright guys, that end sucked (I really, really think so) but I couldn't think of a proper way to end the chapter so… here it is.

Next chapter will start on the masses' reaction to the book. I changed Hikaru's penname from Amaranthais' one, but the title of the book is still the same as hers.

Oh, and about my other HnG fanfic  **Master in the Shadows** , I'm still writing the next chapter. I got stuck on how to get Hikaru out of his depression. I just solved it temporarily with the introduction of an OC so be prepared for eventual OC in the nest chapter.

Any reviews?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hikaru never realizes the impact his book got. Not until it slammed into him.

 

**Phantom Hands**

**03:**

Hirota Aki, a professional Go player was already used to the Go tutorials he held only having elderly people wanting to learn. Kids this days just couldn't see the appeal of the game. All they wanted to do was play their video games or outdoor games. Even his nephew was also like that.

Go was an ancient board game to them. They couldn't even see it as a possible past time when they have free time.

He is sadden by that fact but what could he do? He couldn't teach anyone who wasn't willing. They have to come to learn.

But slowly and surely, kids and teens had been going to the tutorial salon he was working part time with.

It was only a trickle. One student, two teens, a child and a mother. It was a nice change but hardly noticeable. And then suddenly, a gaggle of teenagers just came and signed up onto the program to learn.

The trickles that he had not really paid much attention before suddenly felt like the calm before the storm. And the influx of teen students was the chaos a storm brings.

It was a really nice change if someone ask him. But as good as it was, he didn't know what was causing the influx of teen students.

Then he heard them talking about a certain book that made them decide to come and check the game out.

A novel book titled as **Reincarnation**.

Of course he checked it out after he was done with his work. He was never a novel reader. Whenever he came to a bookstore, he only ever bought Go fact-related magazines and books. That's why he never knew it.

He thought he would just find it boring as was his usual attitude in any non-related Go books, but that wasn't the case. Upon sighting the cover, he was instantly intrigued. The man on the cover that was clearly holding a Go stone and was ready to lay it down on the Goban has that overwhelming aura it actually made him unable to pull his eyes away.

His initial plan was to just check it out there, but he couldn't help it. He _had_ to buy it. He _had_ to read it.

He was glad he did, because he had already reread the book three times now upon his purchase, on just the first day and he still couldn't put the book down.

It was no wonder the book was a best-seller as his research indicated and that many teens signed up after reading it. Because the book contained all the perfect elements for any teens to pick it up, read the entire book and be intrigued with the game the main character of the story was clearly obsessed with.

And the main character of the story, Fujiwara Sai was a charismatic man for a fictional character. Even though he was an adult now - going 35 actually - and knew that Sai was just a character, he couldn't help but be enthralled by him. He seemed too real and wasn't just the creation of an active and brilliant mind of Yamato Kei.

And the few kifu's featured on the story was amazing. He hadn't gotten over them even after going through it like a hundred times.

He had to wonder though... who is the author of the book? Who is Yamato Kei? Was Fujiwara Sai only a fictional character or did Yamato really know who Sai, the 'God of NetGo' was and was using him as a base for his main character? Because the play style of Sai in the novel was almost scarily the same as Sai in NetGo.

Suddenly, his mind focused on the very name of the author written not on the cover, but on the first page of the book.

Who is Yamato Kei?

**. . . . .**

Hikaru casually glanced around his classroom, feigning disinterest as he walked towards his chair to get his things for his club training.

His heart beat just a little bit faster - again - when he saw a few of his classmates reading the book.

Specifically, his book.

At the first release of the book, not many bought it. Mostly, the very first ones who did were insei's who found the cover of the book interesting. He knew they were insei's because he was eavesdropping once on the group of teenagers crowding the books lined on the bookshelf in one of the bookstores that sells it exclaiming that as an insei, they have to check a novel book that has a picture of a man playing Go to see if the plays inside were correct and not glossed over like other novel books.

The group actually just bought one that time, but when he saw them again, all of them have a copy. They were discussing the contents of the book with too much enthusiasm, looking thoroughly amazed at the few kifu's he had also put inside the book to enhance experience with the readers.

Then the inevitable speculation of whether Fujiwara Sai was the 'Sai', the God of NetGo, or if the character was only modelled after him happened, making him extremely nervous and excited at the same time.

Then they asked who Yamato Kei was.

That's when he beat a hasty retreat.

It was really a rewarding thing though for him to see those insei's enjoy his book, read about Sai and really relate to him. They didn't know it, but they were already getting to know the God of NetGo just by reading the book.

It was just nerve racking for him whenever they asked who the author was. He really didn't like being known writing that, even if he was proud of himself for writing it.

A month passed after the first release and the time he had seen the insei's. He was back to concentrating his studies and his soccer career as he really wanted to get a scholarship and also give a good and lasting impressions on the scouts that would arrive in the competitions they would be in so he hadn't been able to track what was happening to his book.

So it was understandable that he almost had a heart attack when he one day came to the school and almost all his classmates were holding a copy of Reincarnation and were reading when the teacher still wasn't in.

None of his classmates play Go. They didn't even know the basic so he was puzzled why they were reading a book that clearly gives a clue that the novel would be all about the board game by just looking at the front cover.

He didn't dare ask though because he might give himself away. He was paranoid that way even though instinctively, he knew he was just being ridiculous. Who would have thought that a teenager would be writing that book?

But like the saying goes, better safe than sorry.

But that was then and this was now. He was already used to it so when Akari came to him excitedly, carrying a copy of Reincarnation on her hands, he didn't avoid her even if he was surprised that she has a copy of it. Though really, he shouldn't have. Akari became obsessed with Go after entering Haze's go club. So he just went to his seat and waited for his friend.

"Hikaru! Have you read Reincarnation yet?"

"Nope," he said.

"What?! You haven't?" Akari's voice was loud and some of their classmates were looking in their direction. He scowled at her.

"What is it to you anyway? Geez Akari, not all people likes to read," he huffed.

"But Hikaru! Reincarnation is currently the most popular book in the entire Japan!"

"What?!" now it was his turn to be surprised. Most popular book in Japan? When did that happen? Why didn't he know that?

_Right, I was avoiding any topic of Reincarnation like a plague._

He didn't want to do it because Reincarnation is like his child, and it was about Sai. But he just couldn't help it. He was just really that paranoid.

Now that paranoia is turning back on him.

"Yup! Almost all ages had been reading this book! Even members of your club read this. They even signed up in Go classes to apparently improve themselves like the book said. Shouldn't you know this?"

He gaped at that. His teammates in soccer signed up in Go classes? As in they signed up in a game they considered before as a boring, ancient game that only gramps play? Really? He had only mentioned that Go could help with strategy in any game in passing on the book and they took that as advice and went to learn?

Why didn't he know that?!

Akari, noticing that he was left speechless gave him a pat on his shoulder. "Don't worry Hikaru, I'll lend you my copy. I've been rereading it almost four times already anyway,"

FOUR times? "Four times?" he asked, horrified. Reading a book, even if it was his work and a novel, was horrifying to him. Because he really isn't a fan of reading. He only even checks out a book for his studies and Go related texts that always made him reminisce about his time with Sai.

"Yes. It's really interesting. Even your grandfather was reading this. He said it was interesting how the main character saw the different modern technology. He said he could relate,"

His grandpa?

He had to close his eyes and calm down before his brain short circuit with this information.

He had to contact the publishing company ASAP.

**. . . . .**

"Shindou-kun! We've been trying to contact you for days now!"

"I'm sorry Sakurazaki-san. I was really busy with school work and soccer," he apologized. Sakurazaki-san – his editor really – only nodded and led him onto his office. He then faced him with a serious expression on his face once they were in the room.

"Shindou-kun, I'm pretty sure you already noticed the popularity of the books you have written,"

"Uhh… about that… Sakurazaki-san, how did that happen? I thought the book would only be a hit with Go enthusiasts. And then I suddenly just saw almost all my classmates having a copy of it!" He exclaimed. Sakurazaki-san looked on at him in amusement.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No, or course not! I mean… I just don't understand. My classmates thought that Go was an ancient game fit for the elderly before! And now they're interested in it? Even my teammates are apparently trying to learn to help their strategy! I'm pretty sure that I just put out a scene once or twice in the book about it and their taking it as great advice!" Sakurazaki-san just gave out an amused chuckle and ruffled his hair, making him scowl in irritation.

"Reincarnation just have that charm that couldn't be contain on certain circles only. Isn't it good though? You're book is getting popular as each days passed. You influenced the kids this days to play what they previously considered as 'ancient' game. You're reviving Go in this modern times!" Hikaru didn't notice how Sakurazaki-san's voice was tinged with awe and how he was looking at him with an unbelievable look. All that was in his mind was Sai's would-be reaction.

 _If Sai was here, he'd be ecstatic,_ he thought fondly to himself. Sai had always been someone who wants to see everyone loving the game he loves. He likes seeing kids play the game seriously and have the same passion he has. He wants them to know and see and feel for themselves how amazing the game was.

If he was still here, he'd be hugging him hard enough, wouldn't hear his half-hearted complains and would thank him over and over again.

That's just how he is.

He smiled slightly, eyes looking faraway while having that fond look in his eyes.

"I guess it's okay then," he said. He jerked out of his thoughts when Sakurazaki-san suddenly had his hand on his head and mussed his hair.

"That's good Hikaru-kun, because I am pretty sure your book will continue to gain many readers. One of this days, Yamato Kei's fans will ask or demand to write another book,"

Hikaru looked at his editor in stunned surprise.

"Don't look surprise. With how your book is quickly gaining popularity in just a month and a half, it's inevitable. You did give the impression that your main character – Sai's companion is dead,"

"Haruka is dead!" he said. He had left it purposefully at that. He didn't want to do it at first, wanting the heavy subject of death to not grace its presence on his book, but it came out that way. He tried to take the part where Haruka, Sai's best friend and constant companion in the book died in a car crash while trying to get into Sai's fifth title match but it didn't click. There was something missing.

There was something lacking.

He tried to change again but it only returned to that outcome. At the tenth draft, he stopped trying to change it and just continued with the flow. His emotion mixed in with the book-Sai as the character grieved, accepted and slowly moved on.

It was heavy.

It was sad.

It was melancholic. But it became more real.

So he left it at that.

"You should know Hikaru, readers are optimists. Most of them want a happy ending,"

"They shouldn't have picked the book then," he sullenly said. His editor laughed lightly.

"You did a good job drawing them in that even though there is death, something that they probably do not want, they couldn't put it down. It was realistic while at the same time good that they couldn't complain much. They like happy ending that's why they will ask/ demand. But them doing so doesn't mean they dislike your book. It just means they want more,"

He stared.

"It's good for business," the other added with a wink. Hikaru huffed.

"Well, I won't change it!" he stubbornly said. His editor sighed.

"It's your choice. Just think about it," when Hikaru had his stubborn face on, Sakurazaki-san shook his head a little with a smile. " _Think_ about it. After all, your book is gaining popularity overseas. They might ask us to have it translated and published out there,"

Silence.

"WHAT?!"

**TBC.**

* * *

**A/N:**

Finally finished! Ha! I'm so happy with myself. 'Kay guys, what do you think?

Feedback… Come on. Your gift for me?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ogata. Hikaru with his mom. Ko Yongha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Note** : Unedited. No Beta. AU. OC's. Apparently a really slow update.

**Phantom Hands**

**04:**

The first time Ogata heard the word 'Reincarnation' from a group of insei one time when he visited the institution, he ignored it as he thought it was probably only a discussion between friends about life after death. Goodness knows he had that talk before with Ashiwara - more like he was forced to listen as Ashiwara had been obsessed with Sai from NetGo at that time, exaggeratingly thinking that perhaps, Sai was Honinbo Shuusaku's reincarnation. That a person's life doesn't end in death but rather was entered into the cycle of rebirth.

Sure, he became a little - only a little - interested with Sai because of that remark and played with him, only to get trampled over brutally while the formation still looked like it was designed by a person who was closest to the Gods. Not only that but Sai made it look so easy beating him that he couldn't help but be amazed and a little apprehensive at the strength the online player displayed.

He is a professional Go player for Kami's sake! He already acquired titles because of his skills! He is the most talented student of the Meijin - barring Akira as he is the son of Touya-sensei - and he is certain he was finally this close - just a few millimeters really - from acquiring the Honinbo title from that irritating man.

But Sai beat him fair and square. They might have only played that one time, in the internet of all things, while his identity was still a mystery to him, but that game stuck in his mind.

He didn't waste any time getting it into his sensei's attention. As expected, Touya-sensei became intrigued, though not enough to really have that overwhelming need to play with the other.

The second he heard that term was in a group of students who were having discussion about who knows what when that word stood out. He became suspicious - why wouldn't he when it was the second time in a day he heard about that term. He doesn't believe in coincidences - but he brushed it off again as he figured he didn't have time to think about such an inconsequential thing.

It left his thoughts for a while after that. He would have even forgot about that had it not been for a lady who was exclaiming about how good the book 'Reincarnation' was and how it helped her learn Go more before she finally got curious enough to sign up for Go classes. With his forehead creasing, he drove towards a Go class and saw how packed it was.

Not of elders as he often saw but of school children from those who looked too into a book and those who are sports oriented students. They also have with them, a copy of 'Reincarnation' book with a cover of a man having this aura that seemed to draw him in.

Not wasting any time - because curiosity has always been something he couldn't change in him - he went to a bookstore and bought the apparently only remaining copy of the book there.

Once he read the first chapter, he knew he wouldn't be putting it down until he finishes.

. . . . .

"Hikaru,"

Said teen paused in his eating and stared at him mom questioningly.

"How's your book?" she inquired curiously. It was a damn good thing he wasn't eating anything at the moment or he was sure he was going to choke. Of all things to ask, why his book?

Wait, how did his mother know he had a book?

"Mom, how did you know about that? Do you have a sixth sense?" he asked in wonder, looking at his mother in disbelief mixed with awe. His mom just rolled her eyes on him while a fond smile was playing on her lips.

"Hikaru, I know you are extremely busy at the moment, but remember a few things at least. You told me that you were writing a book and it was your current project," _Oh_ , he thought. That's right. Now that he thought about it, he did say something of that sort. He gave his mom a sheepish smile.

"Sorry mom, forgot," his mom just gave him an understanding smile before she spoke again.

"So?"

"Uhh..." what does he say to that? He already finished his book and was already published? That it was becoming one of the bestseller book in the entire Japan? That it was apparently recommended for readers overseas and that they wanted it to be translated? He still couldn't even get over that information! "Why do you ask mom?" he asked, not really interested in the answer. He just did it to delay a little. He didn't have anything to answer after al. He had to think.

Was it okay to lie to his mom or should he just tell the truth?

_What's the harm anyway? It's not like-_

"Because I found a really good book that your grandpa and my friends recommended. I think it would improve your play once you read it, at least according to Miki-chan's son. He was also a soccer player and it apparently helped a lot for strategy. Maybe instead of writing, you can give it a try. For the moment at least," she said in excitement.

_-Mom read it anyway... wait a minute. That sounded familiar,_ he thought. For some reason, trepidation filled him as he heard those words.

"Mom, what book?" he asked, putting his spoon down on his plate as he stared at his mom intensely.

_Don't tell me..._

"The title was Reincarnation. I have it here in the house. I bought a copy after I read your grandpa's copy. He wouldn't let me borrow it even just for a day," she said with a little pout, ignoring how he was looking at her. Or she might not have noticed it. "It's a good read Hikaru! I am sure even you would like it. Just be careful with it and give it back to me after, alright?"

_It really is,_ he thought in stunned disbelief. _It really is my book! It's following me wherever I go!_ That thought made him grimace as he remembered a movie about a ghost following the man everywhere and killing everyone around him.

_But Sai was a ghost and you miss him. Shouldn't you be immune to those stories since you personally experience a ghost following you around?_ Another part of his mind said. He ignored that for now, even if it did make him feel light as he stared at his mother.

"Anything wrong Hikaru?" Mom asked finally after a few seconds of silence on his part, voice sounding concerned as she looked at him. He didn't answer. Maybe he should just tell? After all, his mother had been the one to give him an idea of writing a book as tribute to Sai no matter how indirectly.

"Mom," he said after a few minutes of silence with his mother respecting his wishes for quiet.

"Yes?"

"Reincarnation was the book I was writing. It's mine," he admitted.

His mother looked confused before it changed into understanding. She gave him a stunned stare.

. . . . .

There was a buzz about a book where a character named Sai was the lead character.

Ko Yongha wouldn't have bothered with it - because the name Sai had been quite popular ever since he dominated every player of go in an online Go website, amateur and professionals. The name was used in everything - had it not been for the few keywords connected to the book that gained his interest.

The play Go and some of Sai's game play kifu's apparently attached to the said book. Kifu's that had never made it out of the internet yet.

He's still a little sceptical if the kifu's really came from Sai. The online player might not have been known to really physically play with anyone face to face, but it was a unanimous opinion that Sai would have made a professional go player immediately if he registered. It would be hilarious if anyone thought otherwise considering the player defeated, or more like annihilated even some professional players while playing online.

He had felt the desire to play with the other and even considered registering in the NetGo just so he could play with Sai. But one look at the list of players watching whenever he played online made it perfectly clear to him that the queue on his list of challengers would be full. There would be a slim chance Sai would pick him among the sea of usernames.

But he looked at Sai's plays and the kifu's of his scattered in the internet and already knows his play style with how much he had studied it.

Because as much as he dislikes how Sai seemed to be content on playing online, never even letting himself explore the professional world, he cannot deny the talent this Sai character has.

It's Godlike.

It reminds him of Honinbo Shuusaku's kifu's, except that Sai's has the flavor of a man still learning about modern plays.

It was like Honinbo Shuusaku himself stepped up into the modern times to learn about modern Go plays.

It gives him the excited thrill of wanting to face challenge like Sai. It was a pity he never had a chance to. Still, he admires Sai, as much as he could admire a person who has incredible amount of talent but is satisfied living in obscurity.

So it was no wonder he became curious about a book that features his name as a character.

Not to mention that Su-yeong had even bought the book and had it shipped to Korea even when it is still in japanese text. He had also religiously studied japanese speech and text more than ever, so unlike before when it was really only in passing, just so he could read the book without stopping every few seconds to look for his dictionary and translator.

He can speak the japanese language a little as he deemed it necessary as he had to go to the country for some games. He had never studied japanese text though so even if he wanted to read it, he would not be able to unless it's been translated.

Su-yeong, to his surprise, was literally bouncing on his toes - an unusual sight these days considering he had been surly lately for some unfathomable reason - when he inquired if he could translate a few chapters of the book just so he could have an idea of it.

Because even if he wanted to see the kifu's in it, Su-yeong would not let him unless he read the book because apparently, the kifu enhances the storyline.

His friend took a month to be able to give him two chapters of the book translated into korean that he had apparently typed and printed in a paper.

Just the first chapter and he was hooked.

He had immediately ordered one even though it's still in the japanese text, disregarding the rumors about the book being contemplated to translate in other languages due to popular demand, and hired tutors to help him learn the foreign language quickly.

The two translated chapters were enough to cement his desire to read it thoroughly.

Many questions had erupted in his mind. Is the Sai character in the story based on the NetGo player Sai? Are they close? Did Sai even allow the author to use him in his story if the character really is base on the mysterious Go player? Does the author personally know Sai to be able to write about him? Or does the suthor only knows a friend of Sai?

He has so many questions not even connected in the book, but there is a single one that was seared in his mind that he badly wanted the answer to.

Who is this author? Who is Yamato Kei?

_I have to know._

**TBC.**

* * *

**A/N:**

Well, I'm still alive. Here is the next chapter. I am going through my old stories and seeing if my muse kicks in. Oftentimes not but I'm trying. My muse is being petty. When I write in that story, a plot of another one kicks in. I've been going back and forth between them. *sigh*

Anyway, I've been reading your reviews and saw some of you requested Yongha's reaction and Ogata. Here it is. Not much but still. Anyone else?

**REVIEW!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heart to heart with mom. Akira's suspicion, and a surprise waiting for Hikaru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Note:**  Unedited. No Beta. AU. OC's.  **Short chapters. Slow update.**
> 
> Guys, I just wanna ask coz I've been contemplating. Should I actually revive Sai? I actually want to but I'm unsure as to how. And to make it believable and seem natural. Any suggestions? Or should I just scrap that idea?

 

**Phantom Hands**

**05:**

"What do you mean it's yours?" Mitsuko managed to ask after a couple of seconds just staring at her son in stunned shock. It's not an ideal reaction but those words Hikaru just told her...

They're bomb-worthy.

Her precious son doesn't like books, period. He had to be forced or even bribed before he would open even his textbooks. It has always been like that ever since he was young. It's always a pleasant surprise even when Hikaru still manages to pass his tests and quizzes.

Though that kind of attitude is kind of frustrating sometimes, she loves her son and she accepts his faults.

Even those that makes her want to rip her hair out of her head.

So that information...

"Reincarnation is mine mom. It's..." She didn't know what her expression currently is. She just knows that the second Hikaru looked at her, his sentence trailed off and he suddenly looked down at his food. She can't see his face in his new angle especially with his hair almost covering his face but his ears are red and still so noticeable.

Mitsuko smiled fondly at her son. Hikaru doesn't really get shy or abashed or embarrassed often because her son is a little shameless. He likes bragging a lot and is loud. Even though he has become a lot calmer as he aged (and how ironic is it that he's calmer in his teenage while still playing soccer than during his childhood days), he still has his moments of loudness.

Though more subdued than before. Still, that red on his face was rare and she couldn't help teasing him. Whenever Hikaru becomes shy, he just turns so adorable unlike his now maturing face that it takes her back to his childhood days where her son was quite the rambunctious child.

"So, my child is a bestselling author now?" she teasingly asked.

"Mom!" Hikaru whines as he finally looked at her, face fully red. Her smile widened at that. Already a teen yet still can be such a child...

Wait, if Hikaru is now a best-selling author since his book is literally what she had been hearing from her friends, even from her grandpa...

"How much are you earning honey?" She asked softly. Even though her mind is still stuck with the knowledge that his anti-book son really did manage to write and produce a book that is now being talked about by some people, and might even be gaining more popularity as each day passed (and how ironic is that?).

She wasn't that inclined to dismiss Hikaru's claims considering the Hikaru in front of her is almost vastly different from the Hikaru she had before. Also, he is her son and she always knows if he is lying or deceiving her or not.

Hikaru clearly did not when he told her that. She might need a bit of a proof later on when she isn't in quite a disbelief but she didn't have any doubt in her mind that Hikaru is telling her the truth.

"Earning?" Hikaru asked in confusion. Instantly, her full attention snapped on her son, now fully displaying her disbelief.

 _Did Hikaru just ask me about his earnings like he didn't know?_ She asked herself, feeling slightly alarmed as she stared at her son.

"Your earnings honey. You wrote the book. Surely you were paid?"

"Uhh... Yes. They made me create a bank account. You were my joint account holder there. You signed it remember? I asked you and you said it was a good idea to save my money?" In the end, Hikaru ended his statement in a confused question.

"Hikaru, did you sign any contract? Do you have a copy? Did you read it properly? Understand it? Why did you do something like this without telling me?"  _Did they do everything right? Did they cheat my son?_  So many scenarios came onto her mind, especially the contract her son must have signed.

"Mom, slow down! Everything was okay. They insisted on me getting a lawyer. I asked for a huge amount of money from you remember? I paid it to the lawyer I got."

Mitsuko froze and gave her son an intent stare. "What money? The one you asked me for to buy a new overall sports equipment for your soccer?" Hikaru's eyes widened and he gave her a skittish smile. Her eyes narrowed.

It seems the clever little boy before is really still inside of her son, even though she thought he already matured.

"S-sorry mom," he apologized meekly. Mitsuko released a sigh. Oh well, at least he used it properly unlike before where he used all his money buying foods and playing in the arcades all day after school. Still...

"From now on, you are not going to lie to me about important stuff, got it Hikaru?" she demanded sternly. She can't really get mad at him much. After all, this is also partially her fault. She hadn't been properly looking on her son.

She had already become suspicious of the money he asked her, and then him wanting to open up a bank account, but she had been preoccupied for the past months that it didn't really stand out inside her mind. It makes her feel guilty how she often neglects her son.

Hikaru might be more grown up now than before, but he still needs his mother. This is actually the closest they've ever been their entire life and it's kind of sad.

She won't let the two of them drift apart again. She wanted to be involved in her son's life now more than ever. Before they continue the talk about the book though...

"Why the secrecy? Why do you have to lie to me, Hikaru?" Even if she can let this go, she couldn't help feeling hurt. They've been close to each other ever since she talked to him properly about his mourning methods and to think that Hikaru could still lie to her about something like this, something important. To his own mother. It hurt.

"I-I'm sorry mom. I'm not sure." Hikaru looked conflicted as he said this, "I guess I thought the book would not really sell well so you did not have to know about it."

"Only, it sold out well," she laughed lightly. It's just so typical of her son to underestimate himself. And she feels lighter somehow, happy that it wasn't because of her that her son lied. Hikaru gave her a surprised look even as he smiled sheepishly.

"So..." she leaned forward and gestured to her son to lean in too. "Are you going to make a sequel?" she asked, in part to tease and another because of her genuine want to read a sequel that leaves a happy ending. The book Hikaru wrote is bittersweet somehow. She feels conflicted.

On one hand, she dearly loved it. It has humor, family, friendship, adventure, and angst. It reflects everyday life to a T. It's realistic. And normally she would be satisfied with that. But in this one, she could not help but want a happy ending.

"Mom!"

She laughed at her son's wide-eyed, indignant expression, though she is unsure why he looked like that.

She proceeded to needle her son about it.

She might be an adult and a mom, but she is a book nerd at heart. She could not help herself when it comes to a good book and the author right in front of her.

Even if it is her son.

. . . . .

Akira stared at the book he had bought three days prior simply because it is a fiction book with Go as the main element. It was actually a first time for him to see it.

Usually, anything Go related are beginner books, advanced, tips and other dry books that teens would have found boring and dismissed it immediately. The only interesting Go related stories are in the magazine and only then it was mostly because of interviews and a reporter's flair for writing.

So to see a novel with Go as the center point of the main character is surprising. Not only that, it's even popular, so much that he had to resort to reserving it to get one copy. And he had to wait for two days before he gets one as the queue of people who reserved the same book were enormous.

But it was worth it. The money spent and the amount of time he spent waiting to get one is worth it.

It has some information about Go for every beginner, the players the characters fought, the main character's plays... Everything in it is refreshing. It's a book for everyone.

Not only is the story entertaining, the kifu's inside are enlightening. He often uses the kifu in the book as a study guide even if the play style seemed to be a little outdated. It corresponds well to book-character-Sai's circumstances of a person from the ancient era reincarnating in the modern times.

Not only is Sai's play style commendable, even his best friend in the book, Haruka's play style is intriguing.

The book might be an excellent story, but the thing that really caught his attention after reading is how the author made the kifu's. They looked exactly like the play style of internet go sensation player Sai

Everything looked genuine. Like it was really played in real life. Book-Sai's style is understandable as it could be studied through the surviving kifu's of Sai on the internet. But not to this extent that it looked like the games really came from the genuine player. Not to mention Haruka's.

He had a feeling that Haruka is real. That the kifu's inside the book were played before by two real people.

That Book-Sai is really based on real Sai and Haruka is based on Sai's real companion.

That means the author of this book, Yamato Kei, might know the real Sai.

He must confirm first.

Perhaps he could give this book to his father? Or at least let him read since he quite like this book and see the kifu inside?

Then he must know who this author is. Whether he knows Sai or not, there is no doubt that he knows Go.

He might even be the companion of Sai...

Akira's eyes gleamed in excitement.

**. . . . .**

Despite the slight stress Hikaru felt about this book business, he hadn't neglected his career in sports. He instead focused all of his attention on it and even went so far as to pour all of his frustrations on the sport whether in practice and in official plays.

Even his teammates think that he was possessed.

Despite all of that, he still could not take all of the stress accumulating inside him because of that book he wrote because what his editor said was right on dot.

His book was asked to be translated and there were cries for a sequel.

It hasn't even reached a year yet! The craziness that is happening because of the book he wrote is both flattering and stressful.

He was just thankful that this summer, he could rest for a bit. He also decided not to accept any calls from anyone for at least a week unless it is someone important. Though Sakurazaki-sab's calls are important, he already decided to not accept his calls because he tends to give him a stack of letters passed to the publishing house by the book's fans asking for a sequel or needle him into considering to write it.

What would he write a sequel anyway?

In the book, Haruka is dead. Sai, despite still feeling sad and grieved moved on gradually and continued playing Go as a commemoration for his dearest friend who is also a brilliant Go player because of the many times he slaughtered him every time without consideration while they were playing even before his friend knew the game.

It has closure. He also got his goal, to make everyone know Sai.

Hikaru sighed.

For three days, he stayed in the house watching television or playing games. He planned to do this for the rest of his first summer week when his mom gave him a letter.

"What's this mom?" His mother gave him an amused and exasperated smile.

"Open it up, Hikaru."

He opened it and there was a letter inviting him to join the summer high soccer camp inviting all players from various schools to represent Japan in an international competition.

His eyes went wide and all matters about his book flew out of his mind.

**TBC.**

* * *

**A/N:**

Phew! I'm done. Can't believe I struggled with this chapter. Anyway, I returned back to Hikaru's life. I... might have Hikaru play Go soon even though I didn't plan on doing it.

Anyway, continue supporting. And by the way, I also updated some of my stories along with this one. Check them out.

**Review!**

**Did you actually read my note?**


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